Ok, I have been waiting a long, long time to write
this one.
Online Dating…
I am not a fan of those two words.
Lately I feel like everyone seems to be in a hurry
to tell me to “try online dating”. If you know me I have never been one to show
much of an interest in online dating. If not, you will soon see why. Recently,
I gave in to testing it out for a little research and a little curiosity. Sixty
dollars and two months was all I needed to confirm just exactly how right I
was…online dating is NOT for me…at least not yet!
Dating is supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to be
the most carefree time in the life of a relationship. You get to know someone
over dinner or fun activities and you just gain a new friend. Typically the
time you are giving up is enjoyable. When you meet someone at work, church or
just randomly out somewhere, you typically get an idea of where he comes from
and who he might be.
Online dating however requires tons of work and
time…TONS. To start you set up certain
parameters or things that you are looking for. Then the websites are supposed
to match you based on those specifics. When I say specific, I mean it. Then you
have to start by just reading the different profiles of your “options”. This
wouldn’t seem so difficult, but your list of “options” grows larger every day
and suddenly the people the website is trying to set you up with are no longer
within your parameters at all. This takes less then two weeks to happen…no
exaggeration.
Age
range set to 26-32…here are some forty-year-old men you might like.
Distance of 100 miles…here are
a few guys from Colorado, one from Alaska and like twenty from the Austin, TX
area.
Now that you have over a hundred “options” you get
to read profile, after profile, after profile. You get to start from scratch
with every single guy you meet. You read and read and try to decipher between
the truth and the lies. Oh and don’t forget you have to verify if they are
within your age restrictions and live close enough to even meet. After a ten-hour
workday, do I really want to spend hours of night on this app reading about
guys…NO! I want to be working out, spending time with friends or watching
ridiculous amounts of TV. I hate to say it but I am just not lonely enough to
take away my time. Quite frankly, I am too busy enjoying the life I do have to
care about all those profiles.
Now let’s talk about how MEAN online dating made
me. Generally, I like to think that I am a fairly nice person. If you haven’t
made me extremely mad then chances are good I have never been mean to you…at
least not on purpose. Yes, I have LOTS of sass, yes, I can be pretty aggressive,
but I would never typically describe myself as mean. Let me tell you just how
mean my mind went with every single profile I looked at online.
Over
32…No Way! Under 5’ 11”….Goodbye! No Job…HA!
No College…See Ya! Weird Hair…Ehh No Thanks!
I barely read any of their profiles. There is no
redemption for a guy in online dating. He gets on shot, usually reliant on his
picture or career choice, and then he’s done. I get that this is how it works,
but it just feels so mean! Outside of a website, with the right personality, I
would be far less critical of what a guy looks like, his job or his height…(OK
I might find height to be a little bit of a deal breaker, but I like to wear
heels!) If I am going to insert myself into the online dating world you better
believe I am going to be picky! Am I wrong to feel like that is my right? Possibly,
but really if the algorithms that these websites claim to have, matches you
based on your set parameters, then realistically, everyone should only be
matched up with their “perfect” matches. Just my thoughts….as always!
Then you have the possibilities of meeting someone
that you technically already know. What do you do in this situation?! There
were a few times I was send a “Smile” from guys I had met sometime during
college. I did not know these guys extremely well, but we were connects on
social media and had several mutual friends. Two things happened when I opened
up the app and saw that someone I knew had sent me a “smile”…I laughed and
instantly texted one of my girl friends. What made these guys think that
sending someone you technically already know a “smile” would be appealing? If
any of these guys has chosen to send me a Facebook message or find someone who
had my number and just call and ask me to dinner, they would have at least
gained my respect for showing some bold effort. Instead they try to go through
the twists and loops of a website, why? It’s not cute, its not sweet, its just plain weird. You know what would be
impressive? An out of the blue phone call or flowers sent asking me on a date.
We are all grown up now…lets act like it! I know I have said this before, but let
me throw it out there again, where have real men gone?
After two months of all this I was happy to suspend
my accounts on both websites I was testing out. I never met any strangers in
person but I did strike up a few conversations that never really impressed me.
Recently I had a conversation with a stranger traveling and they asked if I was
married, I said no and his response was “Oh, so you are happy!” At the time
this made me giggle because it was so blunt, but the more I think about it, I
am happy. I will continue to enjoy my twenties as a single woman and really I
wouldn’t change a thing in the path my life has taken since college. One day I will
meet a good man and get married but there is no point in not enjoying all the adventures
that come with being single too. My
advice to any single people out there…love yourself and enjoy all that life has
to offer, it will not do you any good to wait for your life to start, its
already happening!
